Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Diary of a job seeker/career changer - Part 1

This is a post that I just have to do, just to record what things have been like and what thoughts I've been having since I lost my job - largely for my own interest but I hope you might find it interesting too :)

So, in case you don't know (which is probably unlikely), I was made redundant for the second time, in March. It was a blessing in disguise because the job was becoming too much and I had lost or was losing a part of my authentic self. I had a bit of money to tie me over for a month or so .. so took some much needed time out.

I have been working in various accounts roles for a number of years - although have wanted to do something different for a while, albeit not entirely sure what. That left me in a real pickle last time I was unemployed, and it took a while for me to get back into work. Now I realise that it would be madness just to try and get a job again without doing anything else.

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What is my dream? Well, my dream is to own or work in a centre where people can take time out to be creative and also, possibly, where spiritual activities ie. meditation, yoga, workshops take place. I have the idea. Implementing it is a different matter. My plan is to spend 2 hours a day looking into how to go about it and see what happens. One step at a time.

It kind of leaves me in a slight quandary. Because I don't want to go back to doing accounts work, I really don't, certainly not full time and CERTAINLY not for a company that has poor ethics. Now that I am on benefits again, and with a bit more life experience behind me, I am truly beginning to realise how utterly insane the whole system is.

Work stress must be at a phenomenal level nowadays. Just for most people, the fear of not having a job and so called 'security' is too big and they put up with being treated like shit but are too scared to speak out against employers. There are so many paid jobs that are pointless and serve little purpose except increasing paperwork or increasing someone's bank balance.

It's hard for me to see how I can find a job which would really meet my desired criteria. I definitely don't do things conventionally, my CV doesn't look that great and there are few jobs advertised that I would actually want, and the ones that are, would have applicants with far more experience and achievements than me. Self-employment has to be the way forward. And at least I have a bit more time to work towards some goals. Maybe the fact that jobs are so scarce nowadays is actually a blessing in disguise.

I don't want to be on benefits, I really don't. I have read 'The Moneyless Manifesto' by Mark Boyle .. but I would find it very hard to live completely without money. Although I think it would be good to look into ways that I could rely less on money. Maybe.

I can apply for jobs to keep the jobcentre happy .. the whole thing is just a farce. 'Universal Jobmatch' is the new DWP jobs website which Monster spent £17 million pounds on but is actually worse than the previous DWP jobsite - an absolute disgrace in itself. As usual, the focus is on quantity rather than quality - ie you should apply for x amount of jobs and spend x amount of time looking for jobs. Madness.

The poor people who work for the government are just filling a role which is total bullshit, as are a lot of directors, managers and wage slaves. Enough of the bullshit. Things have to change.

Self-belief and self-esteem can really plummet if you're out of work, and I am being quite careful this time. My creative spark went a bit tits up this month but hopefully it's starting to come back.

I feel like I'm in a bit of a Catch 22 situation with it all .. no longer wanting to do what I've always done, having an idea what I want to do, have plenty of contacts but still scared about following my dreams to an extent, and not sure how I'm going to do it, but need to 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. If a job comes up and it's meant to be .. then all good .. but I find it hard to believe that what happened with my last job, didn't happen for a reason. It's time for change.

More to follow later, hopefully.

The Creative

5 comments:

  1. Sounds like you are in the void Andy, one toe in both worlds. I am fascinated in that book you mentioned may have to see if I get a hold of that. As you know Mike and I live a frugal life in monetary sense, spending around £40-50 a week on food & home necessities between us but I still feel very blessed. So it is a big perspective change. We let go of our car the year I left my job and while sometimes I really am desperate to get out of Gloucester I realise the benefits in walking everywhere. I am sure change will happen when it happens, take it easy and know it will happen and is always happening even if on the surface it does not appear this way, it is taking place inside you first.

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  2. Amazing, I need some tips on how to be that frugal, although not sure I could do it on my own, even with a close friend like you, I might struggle, at least to start with. Once I've moved, things might get a bit easier :) Yeah like you say change will happen, at the right time.

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  3. I think most people think we make it up what we live on. I know Mikes has friends that just laugh at him when they think he is talking about living on this for 1 person, they think it is crazy that you can live on £50 a week for one person nevermind two. But cooking instead of getting ready meals, having lots of takeaway containers that we put leftovers in and freeze, we are always abundantly blessed with food. I eat around 6 times a day LOL and have a wonderful main meal each day. If you need any tips let us know. I keep trying to tell Mikes to do a blog on living frugally but he does not seem interested lol

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  4. I never thought you'd made it up, although I'm sure you didn't think I did. Yeah get him to do a blog and say that I want to read it ;)

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  5. might well ask for some tips soon.

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