Wednesday, 18 September 2013

What are you trying to escape?

Photo by Jeepers Media
If anyone asked me this question, I would give this answer: Work. Many people would. I would guess that the primary reason that so many people do the lottery is to escape the drudgery of the 9 to 5 world. But just saying the word 'work' is a bit of a vague answer. What is it about work that people want to escape from? Well, I think that we human beings have a desire for freedom, and there is a distinct lack of freedom in the workplace. So it is a perfectly natural desire to want a greater amount of freedom.

However, sometimes we can get so consumed with the 'need' to escape from an undesirable situation that it can take over our lives. The desire to escape from a bad situation can become greater than the desire to be in a better situation. And you then end up with more of the same bad situation.

I'm not for one second going to tell you that it's easy to escape an unwanted situation. Hell, if it was easy to transit from the 9 to 5 world, there would be a lot of people who had done it! And maybe certain things were not designed to be easy. Just a thought.



On a purely personal level, I am feeling pretty damned run down by working full time, in case you hadn't already noticed. I had a month and a half this year where I had a bit of a break after finishing my previous job. I took part in a 30 day artist challenge, and wrote poetry on the majority of those days. My creative juices were flowing reasonably well. Then I got to the stage where I had to go back on benefits, and even though I still had some free time, searching for jobs still took up a fair bit of energy. Then, I slightly unexpectedly secured a new position in July. It's been okay, but I am struggling with the office environment more than I used to. Thoughts such as - I've long overstayed my welcome in an office, why can't I get out of it? come to the fore. I can be quite hard on myself, especially when I see people my age or younger doing things that seem a lot more appealing. And I find I have little energy left to devote to the things I really want to do. Even writing a blog post like this can be a bit of an effort sometimes.

I really would like to change but I just don't know how or what to do. And having so little energy left after work just seems to exacerbate the whole issue. Sometimes I feel like crying. Sometimes I compare myself to other people. Sometimes I feel less spiritual because I'm not following my bliss and being paid for it. And I bet I'm not the only one. My current position lasts until February, I'm thinking that I should really make plans as to what I want to do after that, but again I just don't feel any inspiration for that at the moment.

I'm not here to offer any solutions, either to you or myself. For now, I just want to be aware of what it is I'm trying or wanting to escape from. It's all very well saying 'be present' and certainly one should do their best to be. But the workplace is, without doubt, one of the most difficult places to be present. It's easier to be present with the feelings when I get home. I've been getting up a bit earlier this week and that has helped.

However, I do think that the workplace does give you some opportunity to be in the HERE and NOW. Particularly if there's a situation you want to escape from, when your soul is crying out for freedom which is not happening. When there is no guarantee that things will change or get better any time soon. Maybe this is an opportunity for some sort of awakening. What if the situation that you are trying to escape is an opportunity for growth and character building? Or just simply an opportunity to live in the moment, taking one step at a time and say 'Things are okay as they are right now. I can cope.' Focusing on the long term future can be scary when things are tough.

For now, ask yourself - Is there anything you are trying to escape from? Be aware of how it makes you feel, of why you want to escape, without judging yourself. Try and feel with your heart rather than overthink. Then ask what lessons this situation has to teach you. And do your best to focus on the present moment, one step at a time.
NOTE: I am not referring here to situations which clearly need to be escaped from immediately, such as an abusive relationship. Please, please seek help if you are in an urgent situation. 

2 comments:

  1. Great post, interesting thoughts to ponder on 'what am I trying to escape from'?

    Perhaps it goes deeper than that. Is it monotony, is it boredom? Is it working for others? Is it having too much to do?

    When you are really present, there is no monotony or boredom. If I welcome boredom it is no longer a problem.

    You are doing so well and on the right track, questions are good! LOL

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  2. Thanks Kelly, the post just sort of came to me without being particularly planned. It probably does go deeper but my brain is too knackered to work it all out now ha x

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