Thursday, 12 September 2013

When you have one of those days ..

Photo by MasterUbad via Creative Commons
I am officially frazzled. In the mood for an early night. It has been a funny week, maybe due to it being the anniversary of 9/11 and all that accompanies that. I have been feeling out of sorts. Today I was pretty unmotivated at work, got home looking forward to a chill out and then had an answer message from my estate agents saying that I hadn't paid rent.

I was like .. WTF? But last month's rent was paid by the council as an add on payment after my housing benefit ended. And I wasn't expecting to pay this month's rent for another 11 days. After thinking initially that they might want me to pay extra money that I shouldn't be paying, it eventually dawned on me that there might be a bit of a mix up with the date I'm supposed to pay my rent, because I've been told one thing and then another. Well I have paid now and will clarify things tomorrow.

I then went to a Pizza Express with the intention of using my £2 pizza voucher only to find it looked to full for me to be eating there on my own. Grrrrr. My patience with this week finally snapped and I shouted 'Enough is enough'. There comes a point where you can't take much more. And now my internet is going very slowly which is driving me round the bend.

I am not saying this to gain any sympathy votes, and if people want to think that I am, well that's their problem. I just want to remind you, and me, that whatever kind of lifestyle we aspire to and however much of a loving person we are, there are days and sometimes weeks that can just get on top of us. And sometimes, at least in my case, things get to the point where you snap.

In fact sometimes I find it good when I get to that point of having had enough and lashing out at the Universe in frustration. It can help me regroup a bit, help me to acknowledge my humanity, and say 'Okay I've failed in my attempt to be perfect, now let's start again'.

I think it's easy to have high expectations of how you should behave and how you should be. Especially when you've learnt some amazing things over the years on how to live your life. Yes it's good to live in the present moment, good to be aware of your shortcomings, good to love others .. but we all still have a dark side which will surface at least now and again.

There are some days where positive thinking is impractical, unless you're a real master on the art of living. Some things happen that are out of your control and it's hard not to react. Just let it pass and get back on track when you are able to.

Big love and blessings

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like your on the right track Andy. Riding the wave, some days this is all you can do.


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