Friday, 18 October 2013

Diary of a wannabe career changer - continued - Musings

Photo taken in a coffee shop in Haworth
'If it were easy, more people would do it'. That's the thought that's come into my head in regards to quitting the rat race and living the life you want.

Today, I have had the day off work. It has been nice, even though I haven't done a huge amount. I needed it. I am at a point where I am thoroughly fed up with working in an office environment, doing jobs just for the purpose of a wage slip. My current job has a crazy amount of multi tasking and is not all that predictable, and it's been doing my head in. I feel like I cannot do this any more. I'm sure many people feel the same about their jobs.

But fear is still there - that of 'the only alternative is even worse' and that of losing everything if I took a risk. And my perception is that to make a change would take a lot of painstaking effort and I don't know if I'd have the stamina to do it. And there's the fear of failure. Enough said about that. It can make me freeze and do nothing.

Plus the old stories are playing in my head - 'Everyone else who is living the life they want is far better qualified than you and has/had a far better work history and probably more money etc etc'.

I know I have something in me to change my life - a lot of life experience, good creative ability and resilience. So often though, I focus on the negative. Sound familiar? I just want to encourage those of you in the same boat because so often it seems like it's easier to accomplish things if you are more outgoing, more naturally positive and more socially adept. You may need to work at a slower pace if you are an introvert than if you are an extrovert, 'go getter' type. That is okay.

My energy has been drained through my job and there probably isn't a huge amount I can do to change my body chemistry. What irritates me massively is that I don't feel like doing anything much when I get home, and I have to pay attention to my body. If I feel drained, I more or less need to relax rather than try and 'do' things.

But I have realised today that I need to re-connect with my creative side. It has been semi-dormant when I started my new job in July. I've heard it said so many times that people are 'busy with work'. I have said plenty about what I think of the work environment of today, I think insane is an understatement. But it is a necessary evil for many of us, depending on where we are at in life. It does take a heck of a lot out of you though. So with all this in mind, what can I do to stay as creative as I can?

Setting the intention is a good start, as is trusting in the universe that you will have the resources to connect with your creativity. And also trusting that you will make the right decisions. I feel that it could be a good idea for me to downsize a bit and try and find a job with a few less hours. I don't understand how some people can work 60+ hours a week, I find 37.5 hours more than enough.

Back to my original sentence 'If it were easy, more people would do it'. It is true. I am quite passionate about the whole work/life balance thing, and let's be honest, most people would not do the jobs they do if it were not for money, but nonetheless they still are. And despite the ridiculous stories about 'benefit scroungers' which I am not convinced are true, a life on benefits is damn hard. No one enjoys being without much money, and having to look for jobs at the same time. The governmental fear based structure which is built around countless pointless jobs, whilst there are more meaningful jobs where the companies don't have the resources to pay for, has a firm hold on a lot of people.

And maybe it's not meant to be easy to achieve certain things. I think the next step for me could be to embrace uncertainty, and to accept that things may not work out the way I intend, but that everything happens for my highest good. Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is permanent.

Just a few musings for today
Have fun :)


  1. It is great to see your unfolding Andy, and yes embracing uncertainty is all we can do, because it is, what is, why do we fight against what is?

  2. I guess because it's been our reaction to things over a number of years .. hard to unlearn :)


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