Saturday, 21 December 2013

Patience with the process

Sometimes we feel trapped and unsure how to get out of the mess we're in.
We all have things in our life that we would like to change, or recover from, or move on from. And it's easy to find books or YouTube videos which can make you think 'Yeah, I'm gonna do this, I'll be healed soon, etc.' We can read about living in the present moment and think that we have a chance of becoming enlightened.

And, whilst I believe that we are always making progress if we truly desire to change, sometimes we can end up feeling deflated when we are still struggling with the same issues and seemingly making little progress.

From my own experience, I now realise that I would not have been ready until recently, to face some of the pain I am starting to face now. Most of us are unable to properly process things that happen to us in our childhood, and from there, we can end up with several layers of pain because of the trauma we have suffered and how we have interpreted certain situations.

It can take time and a lot of open mindedness and willingness, to discover the thought patterns and emotional pain that is holding us back. Sometimes you can discover fears that you didn't even know were there.

And it can be so bloody frustrating when it takes a long time to work through stuff. However, fighting the process and wishing things would go quicker, is effectively fighting fire with fire. It won't make things any easier. Although it is good to recognise the resistance, frustration and longing that can surface within, and accept that it is all part of the journey of being human.

But I think, eventually, you get to a point where you don't want to fight any more. Where you surrender to whatever life brings, and where you are able to fully face the pain when it comes. You allow life to bring whatever situations and circumstances are for your highest good. You recognise that things may not get solved overnight. In fact, I don't think we ever 'make it'. Life is a journey and will always bring up things that need to be healed.

It's easy to put on a brave face to the world, when inside, we feel like crying. And sometimes it is important to stay strong. But sometimes we need to let our feelings out .. and know that it's okay to do so, and that we will come out the other side.

Anyway, whatever thing you are facing or dealing with - and we all have our own issues - don't try and force change. Our minds think that by pushing and trying to accelerate the process, that we'll solve things quicker, but it doesn't work like that. We need to give ourselves whatever time we need, and if things don't seem to be getting any better and you've tried all you seemingly can, step back a little.
We can learn a lot from other living creatures.

Some good things to do whilst being patient -
1) Live in the present moment when you can - enjoy time in nature, spend time with like minded people, connect with people online. Listen to music, watch a film or comedy, do something you enjoy. These things help in the healing process.
2) Don't expect too much - sometimes you will react and resist and 'mess up'. That's okay. You can always get up again.
3) Have faith and trust that your situation can turn around. Easier said than done at times, but faith and trust do make a difference.
4) Know that you're a good person. Sometimes we think that we should be doing better, or think that, because we're 'spiritual' that we shouldn't have these 'weaknesses'. Being amazing does not mean that your personality is flawless. You might have some shit to deal with. But as long as you choose to open your heart, you're on the right track.
5) Don't compare yourself to others. Other people may seem more 'sorted' than you. But they may not have been through what you have, and maybe would not have been able to stay as strong as you had they been through similar stuff to you.
6) Don't try too hard to work through a particular problem when it crops up. Allow life to bring it to the surface at the right time, and you will have the tools to face it then.
7) Don't beat yourself up over your fears. Your ego tries to protect you from harm. Acknowledge them and do whatever you can to face them.



A few things this week has taught me

Well well. This one really has been one of the toughest weeks in a good while. It's pretty rare for me to get too depressed these days, ...