Monday, 17 March 2014

More fiction .. based on a true story :D

Photo taken in Xlendi, Gozo .. a beautiful place
So I stood on the bridge, looking over into the large river below. There were a couple of boats sailing, and many more boats on display. 'I wonder what it's like to live in a boat', I thought - even though I had never remotely considered that possibility before. Maybe part of the appeal of living in a boat is that it's so DIFFERENT to how most people live.

And at that stage, I thought, it's good to be different to the majority of people. I have always felt different, even though I eventually managed to integrate myself within the functions of society a little more in the last few years. Once I had accepted that I was who I was, and that I could still be nice to people, it became easier. But the way that a lot of people live seems a bit difficult to understand to me. I mean, why would anyone want to work in a job that is not your true passion, retire when your best years are behind you, and then live off a pension to keep you going? Is that a life truly lived?

I know I could not go back to how I had been living. It was damned exhausting trying to be someone I'm not. Even though things may be uncertain and uneasy for a little while, I knew I had to trust the Universe and life, that things would somehow work out. I may not have an exact idea of what I want to do right now .. but I'm going in the right direction.

And nature is always a healer. Being outdoors is so important. Even in the cold air. It's great just to look at the water, the trees, some nice buildings, and the ocean when you get the chance. Before I knew it, my mind became deep in thought .. well not necessarily deep, more like going round in circles with the 'what ifs', 'why isn't life easier', 'am I doing the right thing' etc. I just let this pass. I have learnt by now that trying to resist the seemingly 'negative' stuff is futile.

People come and go, walking past me. I sometimes turn my head to one side to see if I can work out how a person is feeling, by looking at their facial expression. More often than not, people seemed sad, weighed down by the burdens of life.

I wanted to tell them that there is more to life than work, money, having a nice house, having a family, and all that goes with these things. But most people would not understand, would they?

But I had to continue to follow my heart.


A few things this week has taught me

Well well. This one really has been one of the toughest weeks in a good while. It's pretty rare for me to get too depressed these days, ...