Wednesday, 19 March 2014

The healing process

Photo courtesy of Be Happy Stay Happy
Sometimes, I can feel like a bit of a 'healing junkie'. Like, do I actually want to stop 'healing' and become whole? On the other hand, I think there is always something in our life that needs healing and that we will never be perfect. Life on this earth is a lifetime of learning and we will never get to a state of pure bliss, unless we are a truly enlightened being, which most of us, including me, are not.

I suppose the danger is, particularly if you have been through an extreme amount of shit, that you stay in a 'needing to be healed' mentality for a long time and maybe even the rest of your life. It does take a long time to get to the stage where you can truly feel your emotional pain and allow it to be healed, rather than fight against it. But I've been very fortunate to have had access to a number of wonderful books and spiritual teachings which have helped me a lot.

The book that has probably had the biggest impact on my life is 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. Beforehand, my thoughts were so much thoughts of regret and heartache about the past and worries about the future. Which is how the mind/ego works. But this book opened up a whole new avenue - in a nutshell, it's about living in the present moment, free from regret and anxiety, and living life from the point of what is happening NOW.

I'm not saying I don't have thoughts about the past and future, in fact I don't live in the present moment nearly as much as I'd like, but I am only human. And shit from my past does surface, and I've had a bit of it recently. I feel more ready to face the pain now though.


An important thing to take into account is .. how do you see yourself? It is so easy to let your struggles become a part of your identity - which is why it can be hard to let go of thoughts and beliefs that are obviously detrimental to us. There are payoffs for holding on to your problems, such as getting more attention and sympathy from others, and the mind is very subtle .. if you don't fully investigate your inner beliefs, it can be hard to break free of deep rooted layers of pain.

You can easily see yourself as a victim of life. Many of us would have justifiable reasons for doing so. We can look to life to 'repay' us for all the shit we've been through. Often, when we look deeper, we will find that we believe that there is something wrong with us.

But, whatever your circumstances, whatever you've been through in the past, however hurt you feel right now - YOU ARE OKAY. And I think this a really important thing to realise. Yes, you may have hangups, you may have mental limitations, you may have genetics which seem faulty .. you may have lots and lots of hurt and regret .. but, right here, and right now .. you can find a deeper peace within, an assurance that things will be okay, that even when you go through storms, you have the ability to make it through to the other side.

We all need healing, some more than others, but we do not have to see ourselves as 'someone who always needs healing'. As long as we have an open heart and willingness to change and do as well as we can, that is okay.


I sometimes wish that things would happen quicker, but we are all individuals, we have all been through our own stuff, some more than others. It's easy to get frustrated with ourselves and with others, when things don't change for us or for them, the way we think. It's annoying when people say things like 'you should not allow fear of rejection to be your god' - anyone who has had a crippling fear of rejection, as I have, knows that it is a bloody hard thing to overcome. When people's hearts are closed and when they're locked in an endless cycle of negative beliefs that you can't seem to help them with, sometimes it's wise to walk away.

But, even if your heart is opening, it can take a very long time. My heart has been closed for much of my life, to protect me from further pain, and for me, it's been a very gradual process. So don't be hard on yourself.

I'll leave it at this for now. I hope that, whatever your facing now, whether good or bad, that you will allow things to happen as they are meant to.


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