Monday, 8 September 2014

Finally found my home, I think .. A summary of 2014

I haven't written a blog post for two weeks now, and I don't have any topics I really want to talk about. Well, there is one, but it's a bit of a heavy subject so I'll leave it for another time. So instead, I'll do a bit of a summary of my own life this year.

It's certainly been an eventful year, at times very tough. The first major thing that happened is that I chose to quit a job that had been pushing me towards breaking point for a little while. I got stressed during the first week back at work and was starting to consider quitting then .. what finally did it for me was a really difficult day in mid February when other personal circumstances were also affecting me. I had an outburst in the office and knew then that I had to tell my boss when she was back the next day that I wanted to quit. I didn't really know what I was going to do after that but I always knew it was the right decision.

Once finishing my job, I then took a week's holiday, then found some voluntary work in France, which I was to start a couple of weeks later. I then had a major fall out with my then housemate and landlady, and managed to escape from her house by packing my stuff in my car the following morning, before she had emerged. Fortunately, I managed to stay with friends before I was due to leave for France.



One of many pictures I took in France.
I learnt during the next month how important it is to trust your gut feeling and not make rash decisions, and to not have unrealistic expectations. I went to France, not sure how long the voluntary work would last, not sure if I wanted to come back to the UK, hoping that some miracle opportunity might crop up like you read about in some people's life stories. It was fairly apparent early on that I did not enjoy the physical work that was involved, although at least I tried it and found it wasn't my thing. In the meantime, a seemingly possible 'opportunity' presented itself that I thought could be the gateway to my dreams - and I left France near the end of April to take advantage of it.

I think I always had slight reservations about it, and next time I will definitely listen before I go ahead with something that seems really cool. To cut a long story short, I lost a relationship with a family member that I was previously quite close to, who I will likely never speak to again. I boarded a plane back from Malta to the UK that night feeling devastated. It was the worst day of my life since 2006. I came back to the UK with no job, no house and very little money. Fortunately, I had two very kind friends who put me up for two and a half weeks each. It took me a while to get jobseekers' allowance benefits sorted out, and it's not easy to find a place to live whilst you're out of work.

But I managed to. It kind of 'felt right' to look for somewhere in Huddersfield, after over 7 years living in Leeds. I had been getting more and more fed up with Leeds, its hectic vibe, and the last two places I lived in Leeds were utter shitholes. I knew some people who lived in Huddersfield and knew that there was a bit of a spiritual/alternative scene round there. I ended up in a really nice part of town, right next to the lovely Greenhead Park and conveniently only a short walk from Huddersfield town centre. I moved to my new place in early June.

The first few weeks there were quite hard, though. I didn't have much money so it was difficult to meet people. Also, I didn't have the internet at home for about a month, so was relying on libraries quite a bit. However, I did go on some really nice walks and was quite surprised by how nice the surrounding area of Huddersfield was - the town centre is nothing special, but some of the villages and houses really are lovely. I was sometimes wondering if I'd made the correct decision, but it still felt right even though I wasn't seeing the immediate benefits.

This is Hebden Bridge, taken a while back as I haven't been
able to use my camera for a few months. 
Anyway, I found a new job in August and am now starting to get back on my feet again. I am getting out and about a bit more, and love the local area - Holmfirth is only six miles away and yesterday, I went on a great bus journey to Hebden Bridge, taking in some lovely scenery on the way. Huddersfield does feel like the place to be for me, and I don't want to move anywhere else now. I would never move back to Leeds. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to get from living on the south coast for so long, to living in Huddersfield .. but at least I think I found a place I can finally call home. I have moved around so many times so hopefully I can be a little more settled now.

I am starting to get involved in the local community again .. I went to a great spiritual group last week, and hopefully will get to some more meetup groups. It's been a challenging year on the whole - the first month in particular, after I got back to the UK, was horrible. I was worried about not getting benefits, ending up with no money .. but fortunately, everything turned out okay. My experiences have taught me the value of trust and living more in the present .. I am still learning things in regard to relationships and career (my two 'biggies' that I feel I've failed in) and hopefully things will start to turn around for me in those areas. As I approach my 40th birthday (only 3 months to go now), I feel that there are changes in the air, and it's important for me to keep learning and get to be more at ease with myself, so that the right people and circumstances can come into my life.

Hope you enjoyed reading this. What's your 2014 been like?

1 comment:

A few things this week has taught me

Well well. This one really has been one of the toughest weeks in a good while. It's pretty rare for me to get too depressed these days, ...