Friday, 23 January 2015

2015 so far - challenging my beliefs

It's only 3 weeks into the New Year and already it's been fairly eventful with significant changes taking place, mainly within myself. I am still taking some time out, and I feel that time out is essential at times - we were not built to work from age 20 to 65 with 5 weeks holiday a year. It's crazy that we still accept working conditions which should be rejected out of hand in 21st century Britain. Anyway, that's another subject.

A scene to help you feel more peaceful - at Alnmouth
I am being challenged to really face my core beliefs that have held me back in so many ways - and it's making me realise just how much I was fighting against the things I didn't like about myself or my life. It's so easy to reject and lash out against something. Sometimes we need to release emotions via anger - but the best way to transcend negative beliefs is to fully feel them, without judgement. As you'll know if you've followed this blog for a long time, relationships and friendships have been a real big struggle for me. I have been aware of some of the fears that I have around intimacy for a while, but have not been able to properly face them up until now, but am starting to. The reason why it's so hard to face any issue is because we are afraid of the pain it may cause. It takes a willingness to go deep within, to ask your inner guidance to reveal the blockages to success, to come face to face with your biggest fears. But once you face them, you will feel more peaceful inside.

It's a process. I still have much to go through. I am doing a course with a meditation group I belong to, which is really helping. One of the core teachings of the course is that 'you are not your mind' - which is a concept I'd heard mentioned by Eckhart Tolle - but I'd never seriously put it into practice or never fully understood how it worked. But it's a powerful concept. We are so identified with our thoughts and beliefs, so many of which are negative - and are scared to let go of them, because, without them, the question is 'Who Am I' - and the mind is always looking for something to identify with. Our beliefs often stem from childhood, through difficult experiences which we were unable to properly process at the time. I was rejected quite badly at school, and shut my heart down as I knew no better. Consequently, I saw myself as a reject, and it's taken a very long time to even begin to shift these beliefs.

Basically, the mind operates at the level of past and future, analysing the future from past experiences. God knows, I've accumulated a whole lot of negative beliefs from my past and have worried about the future many times. From what I understand, the key is to allow thoughts to come and go, without identifying with them. So for example, if the thought comes that I'm a loser, then I allow it to come and maybe feel some emotions that have been triggered. It can be painful to face difficult emotional stuff - but if you are able to do so without judging these feelings as evil, then you take one step closer to freedom.

The next few weeks will be fairly challenging at times. But as my course leader says 'The biggest fear is the fear of facing the situation'.

Not sure where this blog is going at the moment - just posting as and when I get a bit of inspiration. I welcome your comments.



  1. Sometimes we need to wander through life, experience the turns and twists, before we are able to really find ourselves! It may take long, but you will surely get where you are travelling to.... Jut carry on :))

    1. That's right :) Good to hear from you.


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