Monday, 11 May 2015

Don't expect perfection .. ask for help

Life is a mixture of sunshine and clouds ..
One of the potential pitfalls on the journey of self-discovery is that we can easily think that we will have no more dark times, no more depression, no more going to close to the edge - in other words, that we will get to a place where we are enlightened, singing in the clouds, semi blissed out 24/7. Another pitfall is that we can look at a guru/spiritual teacher - such as Eckhart Tolle and Mooji - and determine that we want to be just like them, at peace with life and living in the present moment. This, to me, is a subtle form of self comparison. Whilst there's nothing particularly wrong with following the examples of people who are enlightened and serving the world, trying to emulate them is not going to work. We can only do the best we can, with the resources that we have.

Even when you find out that the ego and your thoughts are not real, it can take a bit of time for thought to subside. Plus, some situations are just plain difficult to face, regardless of how enlightened you think you may be, and are not easy to deal with on our own. Sometimes, people are the best form of help. As I said yesterday, I don't like asking for help. But it's important to - and could be life saving. Whilst I am not in a life or death situation, there are some people (particularly men) whose lives could have been saved if they had been able to talk to someone. But I understand why people find it hard. The fear of rejection and the fear of being perceived as weak is strong amongst men - the former one is more prevalent for me, but sometimes men can withhold from talking to someone out of pride.

It is also important to help ourselves - don't be too hard on yourself if you have a down day where you feel sorry for yourself and feel like letting the Facebook world know - just don't stay in that place for too long. Pick yourself up as soon as you are able to. If you feel like you're getting close to a breakdown, and have tried everything from meditation, chanting, burning incense and making affirmations - acknowledge where you're at right now, rather than fight it. Sometimes, it's better to admit that you're fucked up than to pretend that your life is full of abundance and love. And do the best you can to reach out for help.

Sending light and love and peace,
Andy

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