Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Stop trying so hard

I have to admit, today hasn't been one of my better days. It's been one of those days where I've just about seemed able to function, anger levels have been quite high, and, of course, I've been wishing that I could feel different.

Whilst I know that I am not my thoughts, it seems such a struggle to surrender, to accept the past and to embrace life right now. The pain I feel about not having romantic relationships is very strong right now (although whatever the supposed source of the pain, it doesn't really matter).

Here's the thing: there's no rights or wrongs as to where you 'should' be right now. It's easy to look at the likes of Eckhart Tolle, Jeff Foster, or your own spiritual teacher, and think 'I should be where they are'. Quite honestly, I think this is another form of self comparison, and it's ultimately fruitless. Jeff Foster said that you cannot open your heart before you are ready, and I believe this to be true. 'Trying' to surrender or wishing you felt enlightened, just doesn't work.

Whilst our true self is already 'there', it can take a bit of work to uncover the blocks and pain which, ultimately, have kept us from realising who we truly are. So don't beat yourself up if your heart is still closed and your mind is still resisting what is or what has happened. I am still finding myself saying 'no' to some things that have happened in my life. And no one can or should judge you, least of all yourself. We all have our own life stories, and when we commit to awakening to our true nature, it's likely that all sorts of painful stuff will come to the surface. Reading things on Facebook, it's clear that quite a lot of people are going through difficult times right now.

Another Jeff Foster saying - 'Accept your non acceptance'. If, at this moment, you find it difficult to surrender and accept 'what is', you will feel a little better if you accept that you find it difficult. Just be aware of the trying, the wishing your life had been better, and do your best. Small steps work for me. Love and light is still within you.

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