Sunday, 26 July 2015

One thing I've learnt ..

Well, I've actually learnt a lot of things. They say you learn something new everyday, and that is probably true. But there are some things that you learn which are quite profound, and sometimes it's the things you learn over time that can have the most impact. I've been doing lots of 'work on myself' over the last few years, but a lot of it was probably quite futile in some ways, although I believe that nothing is ever wasted and that I was doing the best I could, even though a lot of things in my life have taken longer than my ego would have liked.

When I started out being interested in the self help stuff, I wanted to learn as much as I can, with a view to solving the issues I had. Now I realise that a lot of it was the mind trying to solve its own issues. The one thing I've learnt that I want to talk about is: YOU CAN'T FORCE CHANGE.

How many times have you tried to fight a particular problem and wish that things were different? Me, too many to want to count. Gradually, I've learnt that accepting things as they are and allowing things to happen in their own time is the best way. That's not to say it's easy, though. Unconscious mental patterns do not disappear in an instant. It takes an open mind and an open heart to be willing to uncover these patterns. I feel that some of the self-help literature and jargon does not really help sometimes - for example, the kind of message 'Be complete within yourself' - which is true in essence, but often we just don't feel complete .. and rather than 'try' to be complete and fulfilled, I think that the best place to start is to acknowledge that we feel lack, yearning, and whatever else.

Resistance to what is will keep us stuck in old mental patterns. Resistance of resistance makes things even worse. I doubt I will ever get to a stage where I have no resistance to anything that happens. Resistance is all part of being human. Trying to force ourselves to change, to 'get over things', to become enlightened, is all part of the mind's strategy. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we just don't get over things as quick as we'd like. Sometimes, however hard we try, we can't change our outlook on something. It's actually quite a hard lesson to just accept where we are. I know I have often been hard on myself.

Often, people will do things quicker than you. I've thought that almost everyone else seems to have the game of love mastered, except me, and that almost everyone else has done better in their career than me. Those two areas seem to be where a lot of my life lessons are. It's not easy working at my own pace, particularly when I start to compare myself to others. The only thing you can do sometimes is to trust the process, and trust that things will work out in time. Sometimes, I can be too rigid and want things to be a particular way. Most of us can probably relate to this. Another area of trust is trusting that life has a good plan for you, even if it's not what you think you wanted.

Again, you can't force change. You can't force yourself to become more open hearted, to meditate every day, to get over your fears. One step at a time.

Just be chilled out, like this gorgeous cat.

No comments:

Post a Comment

A few things this week has taught me

Well well. This one really has been one of the toughest weeks in a good while. It's pretty rare for me to get too depressed these days, ...