Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Trust

Trust. A word that we use quite often, but perhaps never pause to think what it really means. Perhaps it has a deeper meaning than people give it.

What comes to your mind when you think of the word 'trust'? Do you think of it in terms of trusting a person - for example, a spouse, a close friend, or work colleague? Or do you think of trust in terms of trusting God/life? I think it's important to trust both people and life.

Firstly, here's a dictionary definition of trust - courtesy of dictionary.com
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc, of a person or thing.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.

Some people clearly cannot be trusted :)
This sums it up fairly well. When you trust a person, you believe that they have your back and will act in ways that will serve your highest good, and will not do anything that will hurt or belittle them. Myself and some friends have recently been talking about people we felt we couldn't trust, due to them being part of another group where the leader caused a bit of an upset. Even though some of the people in that group might be good people, sometimes I think it's best to err on the side of caution when it comes to trusting people. I think you have to get to know someone reasonably well before you can truly trust them. Sometimes, something will happen unexpectedly which makes it very difficult for you trust someone again. An affair is one of the most obvious examples. There is someone who I had been quite close to for a little while, but something happened which I take my share of responsibility for, but that will make it very difficult to ever trust that person again. Perhaps someone who you thought was a friend will reveal a secret to someone they shouldn't, which can feel like a betrayal.

In hindsight, perhaps it's easy to place misguided trust in someone, because we all want to be loved, and sometimes we can ignore red flags in a relationship because of the things we love about that person.
Of course, a betrayal can then mean that someone makes conclusions such as 'Men cannot be trusted', 'I will never love again', 'People cannot be trusted, don't tell anyone your secrets'. Whilst I think it's good to be slightly cautious when it comes to trusting people, it's not so good to be overly cautious, and it's not good to let one 'nasty person' cloud your judgement of everyone, because there are still a lot of good people out there.

TRUSTING YOURSELF, TRUSTING LIFE

If you rely solely on others, you're likely to be let down. Trust has to start with yourself, and with life or God or whatever term you prefer to use. Other people cannot make you happy. If you have a good, healthy relationship with yourself, chances are you will be drawn to people who mirror this and who you can trust more easily. If you expect people to let you down, chances are they will.

As well as trusting others and trusting yourself, it's important to trust life itself. Many people are at the mercy of a faulty system and panic if their jobs are at risk. It's certainly not easy to go beyond that way of thinking, but sometimes there is little choice. This whole year for me has been a lesson of trust in the midst of much uncertainty. Obviously I would have preferred things to have happened a bit differently, but there's nothing I can do to change what's already happened. I am definitely grateful that the benefits system in the UK is a little more compassionate than in some countries, although Cameron and his evil mob are doing all they can to change it. That doesn't mean it's been an easy ride, though. The monetary system is flawed in many ways, and too many people suffer because of it. But I still believe that if you trust that life will bring you what you need, that you will not be let down.
Sure, I have days where I feel deflated and frustrated. Too many of them, for my liking. It would be easy to see myself as a no hoper with few prospects - and it's not easy to re-build yourself from the ashes of a long period of fear, low self esteem and lack of confidence. Maybe things will not turn out how I might want - but part of the process of life is to be as open minded as you can and to trust that whatever will happen is for your highest good.

This is some of what trust means for me, how about you? Any comments or suggestions welcome.
Blessings.

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