Sunday, 11 September 2016

Frustration, priorities, time out and things I want to do

So I can quite often get frustrated with life, and also with myself. Wondering why things are not happening quicker, why the same problems are cropping up. One of the biggest reasons is that I can easily compare my life situation to that of others - particularly in terms of the two areas I've struggled with the most, relationships and money. As someone wise says 'We often compare the worst of ourselves with the best of others'.
It's true, when we're comparing ourselves, we often compare our weakest areas with that of others. And it can be hard not to, let's be honest. We can fail miserably in some ways, and that hurts.

There are no hard and fast solutions for these feelings of frustration that crop up sometimes. Sometimes, the therapy that might be helpful for someone might cost more money then they would want to spend. The money thing can be particularly frustrating - when you have a limited amount, you have to prioritise - and sometimes, I choose to miss out on certain things that might be helpful to me - but, right now, it is important for me to have a social life, living on my own with no family close by. 

I am very grateful that I have a reasonably good number of friends now. Putting yourself out there and doing new things does pay dividends. Often, people say that they can't afford things (and yes I have said this many times) - but the reality often is that the thing they can't afford just isn't a high priority for them - or they don't want to pay the amount of money required.

From a cafe/restaurant in Haworth.
We can't do everything and we can't necessarily be like some people we aspire to. For example, I am not the kind of person who could work 60 or 80 hours per week without putting myself at risk of burnout, so being an entrepreneur might not be the path for me. The important thing is to do the best we can and be ourselves. And also be persistent - rewards do not usually come overnight.

So anyway, as I have said before, I have not been doing much blogging these last six months. I have been taking some time to discover myself and to continue healing from some of the traumas that have happened in my life. There are times when I feel like a complete fuck up. But thankfully I have the tools to get through the tough times. I have kind of learnt that I don't have to discard the mental health issues I have faced, and that it is more empowering to own them and integrate them with the rest of who I am. I can choose who I want to hang out with and what events I go to. I don't have to always be 'spiritual' (some of you will know what I mean here :) )

Anyway, I don't really know where my life is going. I would still like to travel, meet the woman of my dreams, finish writing at least one of the books I've started and meet new friends. But I have to start with myself. It can be a tough road to deal with and face years of negative self worth. But like I've said before, it's all about small steps :)

Until later
Andy




2 comments:

  1. A good read Andy. I'm sure life will work out. was in almost exactly the same boat PT (Pre-Tina). Derren Brown has a bok out called Happy and i think it deals wit h a lot of the comparison thing.

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