Sunday, 4 December 2016

Pre birthday/Christmas musings, 2016 and wondering if this blog will continue as it is ..

As we approach the end of another year, it's hard to believe that another birthday is coming up this Friday. I will be 21 again (literally) - and it certainly doesn't seem like 21 years since my actual 21st birthday.

I haven't blogged much this year. As has been the case for many, 2016 has been pretty challenging, with me facing more of my demons - an ongoing thing. Writing hasn't been on the cards much - I have needed to go deeper within, and writing just didn't seem right a lot of the time.

I am not enjoying this time of the year so far - the dark evenings in particular are not one of my favourite things. Hopefully my birthday weekend will cheer me up a bit. Then, of course, we have the dreaded 'C' word coming up - I am honestly a bit perplexed about what Christmas is meant to be nowadays. The cynical part of me thinks it is a bit of a competition between people as to how much they spend even though they know they are spending too much - because spending lots of money and buying lots of presents despite part of you resenting it, makes you a better person and proves that you love someone more, right?

Maybe this is a bit harsh. But I am getting more and more fed up with the ridiculous level of commercialism around Christmas. Regardless of whether Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of Christ's birthday, or whether it originally started as a pagan festival - I don't think there can be too many arguments that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost.

I am hoping that 2017 will be a year of new beginnings. I know, I know - people say this every year. But there does seem to be a feeling amongst like minded people that next year will bring about some positive changes.

It's always interesting to review a time period - partly because it can help you see the positives and how you have grown - because it's often easy to focus on the difficulties.
I started a new job at the start of the year, which, fortunately, has been a lot better than the previous 3 years, and at least I am working for a company that makes a difference in people's lives. It has been good to be back in more of a routine.
A friendship ended which taught me that people aren't always what you think they are and that even the most unexpected people can be very controlling and mean if they are unwilling to deal with their hurts. Some big lessons have been learnt and hopefully I have become a bit more discerning as to who to allow into my life. Consequently, some people I didn't see for ages came back into my life, which has been great.
I have a car again, which makes it easier to get about.
I feel I have become stronger this year - and certainly I feel I am a bit better at allowing things to be as they are, although it's not always easy.

This blog
I don't really know where this blog is going or whether I'll start posting regularly again. Writing has been such an important part of my life for a while and it seems almost wrong that my frequency of writing has declined a lot this year. I guess I will just take things as they come - I know that I am not the only person who has done less writing than usual. This year has been all about healing, going within and getting to know myself more. Maybe I will start a new blog. We shall see ..

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